


Buzzfeed Unsolved

by Gin_Juice



Series: picture book [3]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Breakfast, Diego's kind of mean in this one because anger is the only emotion he can process, Donuts, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Post-Apocalypse, Post-Canon, Vanya's a lesbian but doesn't know it yet, a classic whodunnit, he still loves everybody tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 14:10:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18830269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gin_Juice/pseuds/Gin_Juice
Summary: "I’m just saying that we’re all thirty years old, and we’re arguing over toys.”“Not just any toy, Allison! Our dear brother’s favorite toy.”“It wasn’t a toy,” Luther muttered into his mug. “It was a model.”______________________________________The Hargreeves family assembles for breakfast. Vanya brings donuts. Luther brings up a childhood mystery.





	Buzzfeed Unsolved

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a series, but you don't have to read the previous installments to follow along. Basically- The Apocalypse was averted, and the kiddos are trying to be a real family. Vanya feels terrible about everything that happened, and is keeping some distance between them. Also, she's on a pool team and she's really good at it! Luther is trying to grow vegetables in the backyard, and he's not so good at it. Klaus is sober, Ben is still dead, Five is still trapped in the body of a 13 year old.

Vanya sat on the bus with a box of donuts in her arms and a vague sense of dread in the pit of her stomach.

She’d gotten chocolate for Luther and cinnamon powdered for Diego. Two jelly-filled, one for Five and one for Allison, so that they wouldn’t have to go back and forth with ‘ _no, it’s fine, you have it_.’ One with blue icing and sprinkles for Klaus, since it was the prettiest one in the shop, and a toasted coconut for Ben.

She’d realized seconds after ordering that last one that there was no point, but by then the lady behind the counter was already putting it in the box, and she didn’t want to hold up the line.

Maybe it was fitting. These were not ordinary donuts, after all. These were donuts of contrition.

She was supposed to have gone to the house for dinner last night, with pastries from a bakery near her apartment for dessert. At the last minute she’d panicked, overwhelmed by the thought of sitting down to eat with the whole family all at once, and had called to cancel with a lie about her upstairs neighbor having a flood.

Allison had paused for a second before telling her _it was okay, good luck with everything, maybe they’d see her tomorrow?_ In that second, Vanya had been forcibly reminded of just how loud silence could sound.

The bus pulled up to the stop a block from the Academy, and she got off on legs that felt like lead.

It was stupid to feel like this, she chided herself on the walk to the house. It was her childhood home, too. She was a Hargreeves, too. They were all getting along better now, and her brothers and sister kept inviting her around even after the millionth time she’d broken plans with them. They probably even meant it when they said they didn’t blame her for… well. For everything.

She turned down their street, and saw the turrets of the house in the distance, and felt a little like running back to the bus stop.

She looked down at the box she held.

…No way was she eating six donuts by herself.

When her mother opened the door, she felt just the tiniest bit of relief. A small part of her always feared that if one of her brothers got to it first, they’d slam it in her face. They wouldn’t, she _knew_ that, but the fear remained.

“Vanya, dear!” Mom exclaimed as she ushered her inside. “How lovely to see you!”

“You, too, Mom. Is anybody home?”

Allison had just gotten into town and Diego had likely stayed over last night. The rest lived there, so it was pretty much guaranteed that _somebody_ was in the house, but if they weren’t, she could drop the donuts off and bolt. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

“Everyone is eating breakfast in the kitchen.” Mom reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair behind Vanya’s ear. “I made scrambled eggs and sausage this morning. Are you hungry?”

She hummed as they walked, and Vanya felt a twinge of guilt for not visiting more often. The lingering awkwardness between her siblings aside, their mother was always delighted to see each and every one of them.

Grace flung open the door to the kitchen. “Look who’s come for breakfast, children!”

One of the worst things about growing up in a big family—in Vanya’s opinion, anyway—was that if you arrived late to something, there were just _so_ many people staring at you.

Diego watched her with narrowed eyes and chewed his food fast, like he had a complaint to register with her as soon as his mouth was free. Luther offered a smile that looked as uncomfortable as she felt, and Klaus waved frantically with his ‘hello’ hand. Allison was already halfway out of her seat, burbling about how happy she was to see her, and how she was planning to go over to her apartment later, but this was better, wasn’t it, everybody together for—

Playing to an audience never fazed her, but something about _this_ always made her feel like she was under a magnifying lens.

Her gaze came to rest on Five, who simply grunted in the way that signified he hadn’t yet finished his first cup of coffee. Vanya smiled at him.

Allison was right next to her now, and a hug was imminent. On instinct, Vanya took a step back and raised the box up between them.

“I brought donuts.”

Allison’s smile faltered for just a second. Klaus squealed around a mouthful of food, and then immediately began choking on his eggs.

“You’re a little late to dinner,” Diego told her coldly as he thumped Klaus’s back.

“Yeah, um… Sorry about that.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Allison assured her, taking the box from her hands. “Come sit!”

Luther watched over his coffee mug as she dropped into the empty seat next to Five.

He swallowed, and asked, “How’s your apartment?”

Coming from anyone else, that question would have been mocking—they all knew there had been no flood. But Luther was honest to a fault, and was always surprised when he caught someone in a lie, and if that didn’t make her feel like a piece of wet garbage, she didn’t know what would.

“Everything’s fine,” she answered truthfully.

Diego glowered at her in silent condemnation.

“What kind of donuts did you get?” Klaus wheezed, wiping tears from his eyes. “Are those from Griddy’s?”

“Ooh, they’re still warm!” Allison was examining the contents of the box with open appreciation, and she plucked out one of the jelly ones before sliding it across the table. “Thanks, Vanya!”

Klaus snatched at it eagerly. “Which one is yours? Can I have the blue one?”

“Oh, I already ate,” Vanya told him as Mom handed her a cup of coffee. “I had a bagel on the bus.”

“Someone could have picked you up if you called first,” Diego muttered.

Vanya gave him an apologetic smile, which he ignored. She wasn’t sure if she really irked him that much or if he was just bound and determined to be annoyed with her, but he managed to find fault with every little thing she said or did.

“Did you get the coconut one for Ben, then?” Klaus asked as he scraped his eggs to the side of his plate.

All eyes were on her again, and she clasped her hands tight around her coffee mug. “Oh… yeah. I just… wasn’t thinking, I guess.”

Diego fixed her with an imperious look. “Must be hard to keep track of who’s alive and who’s dead when you never come around, huh?”

Vanya hunched over the table and Allison murmured “Diego,” in a warning tone.

“Well, Ben likes it,” Klaus said, his eyes darting uneasily between them. “He says thank you, and if he could eat, he’d be all up in that donut’s guts.”

Luther sighed. “Ben did not say that.”

“I’m paraphrasing. Sue me.”

The conversation died after that. Mom hummed while she washed the dishes, and Vanya sipped slowly at her coffee. Five stared bleary-eyed off into the middle distance next to her.

After several long, agonizing minutes, Luther cleared his throat and tapped his fork against his plate.

“Uh… I found something interesting yesterday.”

No one responded, but he soldiered on bravely.

“The TV signal was kind of funny, so I went up on the roof to try to fix the antenna—“

“Is this a long story?” Diego mumbled under his breath.

“—and I found my B-52 model plane stuck in a gap between the roof and the gutter.”

“Wait, really?” Klaus leaned forward with interest. “Didn’t you lose that thing when we were like, eight?”

“Yeah. Right after our birthday.”

“How did nobody ever find it?” Allison looked around the table with a vague frown. “When was the last time Dad had the gutters cleaned?”

“That is a real feat of engineering right there,” remarked Klaus. He was gazing at Luther as though seeing him with new eyes. “Surviving twenty years outside! Wild.”

“Yeah, well.” Luther shrugged and glanced between him and Diego, who was cutting up his donut with a knife and fork. Vanya watched him, fascinated and a little perturbed. “I don’t know how it got up there.”

Diego waved his fork in Klaus’s direction. “I have a theory.”

“Maybe we should get someone to take a look at the roof,” Allison said thoughtfully. “It’ll have to be replaced at some point, right?”

“I didn’t take it,” Klaus protested. He made a silly face across the table. “I accuse Vanya. It’s always the ones you least expect.”

Diego sipped his coffee. “In a crime novel, maybe. In real life, it’s probably the guy who was always stealing stuff.”

“Oh, come on! I always gave things back when you asked.”

“There was that time you took my Polly Pocket,” Vanya reminded him.

“And I gave it back to you! Eventually.”

That was true, but at age sixteen, Vanya hadn’t had much use for a children’s toy that had gone missing a decade prior.

“Remember a few days before it disappeared, we got into that big argument about whether Batman or Superman would win in a fight?” Luther asked Diego.

“I didn’t throw your plane on the roof,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “I would have just stomped on it. Probably in front of you.”

Luther looked a bit put out. “Well, I’m not mad. I just want to know who did it.” With a hint of melancholy, he added, “That was my favorite model.”

“Ben says it wasn’t him,” announced Klaus.

“I wasn’t accusing him,” Luther said, aghast.

He tilted his head towards where Ben might have been, and at a volume more appropriate for speaking to an octogenarian than to someone who would forever be seventeen, promised, “I wasn’t accusing you.”

“Oh, yeah, he knows,” Klaus reassured him. “He just likes to be part of the conversation.”

Diego was carving up another piece of donut. It made Vanya feel vaguely itchy, in the same way that seeing one of those pictures that had been edited to put human teeth in a dog’s mouth did.

Klaus suddenly snapped his fingers. “Maybe a bird stole it!”

“Maybe _you_ stole it,” Diego retorted.

“I didn’t! Maybe you left the window open and a raccoon got in.”

“Maybe he left the door unlocked and _you_ got in.”

“Do you need a permit to replace a roof?” Allison wondered out loud.

Klaus banged a fist on the table, causing coffee to slosh out of Luther’s mug. “Allison! Stop being practical and participate in this argument!”

“Well, it was _probably_ you.”

“…Never mind. Go back to what you were doing.”

She leaned forward on her elbows. “But, who would have the easiest time getting something onto the roof?”

They all looked to Five, who still seemed half-asleep.

“Five?” Luther prompted.

He blinked. “Hm?”

“Was it you?”

“Hm?”

“Did you hide Luther’s model plane on the roof?” Allison clarified.

“…Hm?”

Diego gestured to him in exasperation. “What is this? Are you just in a coma until ten every morning?”

“Pretty much,” Klaus told him.

“Well, look alive.” Diego speared a piece of donut on his fork and shoved it into his mouth. Vanya glanced around the table. Everyone else was seeing this, weren’t they? This wasn’t some kind of prank at her expense?

“How did you manage to last as an assassin for so long?”

Five took a long sip of coffee and flipped him off with his free hand.

Allison crossed her legs and reclined in her chair to address the room at large. “So, anyway. What’s everybody planning on doing today? I was thinking of checking out that flea market in the park, if anyone wants to come.”

She shot a hopeful glance at Vanya, who quickly looked away and took a sip of her coffee.

Five turned his head to face her, equal parts groggy and suspicious. “You seem eager to change the subject, Allison,” he said in a raspy voice.

Klaus’s face lit up with glee, and he propped his chin in his hands. “Is there something you want to share with us, Allison?”

“A nice afternoon?” she suggested breezily. “The weather is supposed to be beautiful, and instead of getting wrapped up in model airplane conspiracy theories, we could be outside.”

“Who said anything about conspiracies?” asked Five. “What are you suggesting, Allison?”

She forced a smile to her face. “Nothing. I’m just saying that we’re all thirty years old, and we’re arguing over toys.”

“Not just any toy, Allison!” Klaus protested, wagging a finger. “Our dear brother’s favorite toy. _Allison_.”

“It wasn’t a toy,” Luther muttered into his mug. “It was a model.”

“I move to reopen the case,” Five declared. “Tell us where you were on the day Luther’s toy plane went missing, Allison.”

“Yeah, Allison. What’s your alibi, Allison?”

Allison opened her mouth, perhaps to answer, but more likely to argue, and then seemed to think better of it.

She rose to her feet. “I’m not feeding into this,” she announced pleasantly. “I’m going to get ready to go out to the flea market, and if anybody would care to join me, you are more than welcome.”

“Bye, Allison!”

“See you later, Allison.”

As soon as the door swung closed behind her, Diego leaned over to Luther.

“She totally stole your plane, bro.”

Luther’s mouth parted in surprise.

Klaus swung back around in his seat to beam at Five, clapping his hands in delight. “That was awesome! Man, we are so _simpatico_! Who should we bully next?”

Five sighed wearily and stood up. “I’m going to go to the flea market to see if they have any interesting books. You do whatever you want.”

He elbowed Vanya, and added, “You come, too,” before vanishing.

“Wait, no!” Klaus whined as he sprang out of his seat. “Come back! There’s this super annoying ghost, and you’re better at being mean than I am—“

As he raced out the door, Luther looked helplessly between his two remaining siblings.

“Do you really think Allison took my plane?”

Vanya stared down at her hands and Diego took a sip of coffee.

Luther’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “Is there anybody in this family I haven’t pissed off?” he muttered.

Diego’s jaw tightened. “Why would you give a shit about a little kid being mad at you twenty years ago?” he snapped.

He set down his coffee cup harder than was truly necessary, and his voice grew louder. “We aren’t children anymore. Everyone else gets it, but you just can’t seem to—“

His lips pressed abruptly into thin white lines, like he was forcing words down his throat. He glared at Luther, who looked back in wounded bewilderment.

“Whatever.”

He stood up and stormed away from the table, restrained anger evident in the tense set of his shoulders, the stiffness in his stride. Once he had his hand on the doorknob, he paused to throw a final jab over his shoulder.

“You need to get out more, man.”

He slammed the door behind him.

Luther stared at it, looking baffled and more than a little hurt.

Empathy hadn’t really been a _thing_ in their family. They’d been strongly discouraged from engaging too much with their own feelings, never mind somebody else’s, and Vanya had spent so much of her life drifting around in a drug-induced fugue state that emotions had often seemed like a minor background noise. The hum of fluorescent lights, or a conversation in another room.

Maybe it was because she’d been decreasing the dose of her meds, or maybe it was because she’d been growing closer to her siblings than she’d thought. Either way, when she looked across the table at Luther, her brother and her one-time jailer, she felt… she just _felt_.

“Diego can be a real dick,” she said, before she quite realized what she was doing.

Luther’s brows rose. “Uh… Yeah,” he agreed. “Sometimes.”

They watched each other for a moment. Cautious.

“I’m… not sure why he got so angry.” His tone was half-confession and half-question, and his eyes lit briefly on the box that still contained Ben’s memorial donut.

“I don’t, either.” She drew in a breath. “Most of the time, I think he’s not really angry. It’s just… easier, for him. To act like he is.”

She paused. “He means well.”

Something in Luther’s face shifted. “You can mean well and still be a dick.”

His voice was softer than she’d ever heard it, and his gaze felt heavy.

Vanya whetted her lips and tried to ignore the panic rising in her chest.

“Well,” she said, barely more than a whisper, “nobody’s perfect.”

Luther’s breath hitched. In his eyes, Vanya saw a swirling mess of tenderness and guilt and hope and regret—her mirror image.

Before the intensity of the moment could propel them into deeper waters, Luther lifted his coffee cup and drained it. Internally, Vanya heaved a sigh of relief.

“I can’t make sense of him half the time,” Luther said. His tone was nonchalant and steady, and it was clear that now they really were talking about Diego, rather than… other things. “You know that he cut up the donut you got him with a knife and fork? Who eats a donut like that?”

A surprised laugh escaped her. “Yeah! I didn’t think anyone else noticed. That was… something.”

Luther settled back in his chair, contemplative. “Do you think he uses utensils for everything?”

“I don’t know.” Vanya bit her lip. “Um. We could order pizza for dinner, maybe? And see what happens?”

“I can make pizza,” Mom said suddenly.

Vanya jumped a little in her seat. She’d almost forgotten their mother was still there. She had seemed intent on straightening up the kitchen, lost in her own mechanical world.

Vanya studied her for a moment as she wiped down the countertops. Perfectly set hair, cheery pink dress, empty smile. Had she been listening to the whole conversation?

Vanya really needed to visit more often.

“I have an oregano plant in the greenhouse,” Luther was telling her. “I could trim some of the leaves to use as seasoning.”

He smiled at her, so full of boyish pride that she couldn’t help smiling back.

“That’s cool,” she said. “That’s really cool, Luther.”

“Well, the tomatoes still aren’t growing that great,” he said modestly. “Try, try again, I guess.”

He cleared his throat. “Uh… How’s your pool stuff, by the way? You have a game tomorrow?”

“Oh.” She shook her head. “That’s… kind of on hiatus right now.”

She took a sip of her coffee, and when she set the cup back down, she realized that he was waiting for her to elaborate.

“Uh,” she said, caught off guard. “We don’t have enough people to compete. One of our players is out with a broken hand, and two of them got suspended from the league for getting into a fistfight? So, I don’t know.”

The Wednesday night team at their home bar had an open spot, and one of their members had been encouraging Vanya to jump ship and join them.

 _“It’d be nice to have another woman to play with,”_ she’d said, bumping Vanya with her bare shoulder as they’d shared an order of fries.

Katie was friendly like that. All wide eyes, and sweet smiles, and smooth, polished skin that seemed to glow even when she wasn’t wearing highlighter.

Vanya shrugged. “I might be switching teams.”

The door opened and Allison breezed in, wearing sunglasses and carrying a purse.

“I’m heading out,” she said as she started fishing around in her bag for something. “Anybody else coming?”

“I think Five is,” Vanya told her. “And…  I am.”

The rustling came to an abrupt halt.

“Oh!” Allison smiled at her, clearly surprised, but even more clearly pleased. “Okay! I think it’ll be fun.”

Luther stood, the table groaning under his weight as he leaned on it. “I’m going outside for a while. Me and Vanya were thinking of pizza for dinner, so don’t eat lunch too late, alright?”

“Pizza!” Allison exclaimed, like it was the most brilliant idea she’d ever heard. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

She beamed at Luther, over-bright, and a little uncertain. He returned the smile in his own guileless way.

Five appeared suddenly next to Vanya, now dressed in jeans and a button-down shirt.

 _“Stop doing that!”_ Klaus’s voice echoed faintly from somewhere upstairs.

“Everyone ready?” Five asked.

“Yep!” Allison zipped up her handbag and linked her arm through Vanya’s, like she wanted to herd her out the door before she could change her mind about going.

“I’m really hoping we can find some little knick-knacks and things to brighten the place up a bit. The living room looks like a museum, I think it would be so much nicer with some silly stuff—“

As she chattered on, Vanya glanced over her shoulder.

Luther was watching them with open affection in his gaze, and when their eyes met, he smiled. He offered Vanya a wave ‘goodbye’ before turning to leave himself.

The tomato plants were waiting, she surmised. She had seen them a few times, and he hadn’t been lying when he’d said they weren’t coming along all that great.

Ah, but any new project like that was a process of trial and error.

Luther would stick with it. He was patient, and Rome wasn’t built in a day, after all.

_Try, try again._

**Author's Note:**

> I just now realized I accidentally deleted my end note when I posted this. Here is my very important message:
> 
> Vanya is extremely gay. Vanya is a gay woman. Vanya wants to know other gay women, in the biblical sense. 
> 
> I don't know if this was a deliberate choice by the writers of the show or if it was just Ellen Page's natural gayness shining through, but Vanya is a straight-up lesbian, sports fans.


End file.
